Secrets of a son
by merdarkandtwisty
Summary: Sam Seaborn is really Sam Seaborn Bartlet the only son of Abby and Jed he doesn't like the spot light but the only person who could convince him to help with his father's campaign comes to him and that sets it all of and maybe brings the whole family closer together. Josh/Sam
1. Chapter 1

A/N I always found it odd that Mallory went by another last name but no indication that she'd ever been married so I figured why can't Sam. This is the story of Sam as the Bartlet's son. Younger then Liz, older then Ellie and Zoey. He stays out of the spot light because of his sexuality but his father's run for president is about to thrust him and his lover both into the national spot light. Can they save their secret and still help run a government.

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The phone call was going to blow his life apart, it was one thing to be the son of the Governor of New Hampshire no one really paid attention to you. A little secrecy and you could pass. Press wasn't going to pound on your door or follow your every move, and god forbid his father actually get the nomination. That just added a whole new level of fuckery to his life. Then there was secret service agents and his every move watched.

He swallowed. He had tried to live out of the limelight. He'd taken his middle name as his last, his grandmother's maiden name. his parents new, though they'd never met any of his partners, they expected him and he'd kept a low profile as to not ruin his father's political aspirations. He'd never expected this. A bid for the presidency.

He didn't know how he felt, not really, what he did know was that he wouldn't stop his father, that he would support him, he just wasn't so sure to what extent. His father wanted him Nashua he just couldn't go. Or so he thought until Josh showed up. Looking at him all wind-swept curls and that back pack slung over his shoulder and Sam was 21 again and Josh was older and they'd fallen for each other one balmy fall day on a collage campus. They were still best friends and deep down, so deep down he didn't think about it too much, or so he told himself. Because Josh was in politics and his dad was then a United States Congressman and then a governor and that would be dangerous, but there he was staring at Josh as he walked through the door of Gage Whitney. As he followed Josh out onto the New York street.

"So." Josh held his backpack strap with one hand and looked at Sam. Those eyes he never could resist.

"So." Sam said staring back at him.

"I'm headed to Nashua." With those words Sam's heart sank.

"Nashua, why?" he could have asked so much more. Questions like why would you do this to me? Don't I matter? Would you really help rip me apart?" he kept all those questions in as he shifted from foot to foot.

"Leo McGarry came to DC and pulled me out of Hoynes office, he wants me to come work for your father. I don't know that he has a shot in hell but I will go, I want you to come with me."

Sam shook his head and barked in disbelief. "You want me to go with you, are you kidding?"

"Hoynes isn't the real deal and well I never met your father from the way you always talked about him I think he could be."

Sam swallowed the words he wanted to say. He swallowed the words I don't want them to win. "Okay," was all he said.

Josh watched him. "Okay so I have your blessing?"

"Yes and if you think he's the real thing well then I guess come back and see me I'll think about it."

"I have to go. I have a train to catch. It was good seeing you Sam." Sam just nodded watching as Josh turned and walked away.

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Josh stood and listened to the man up at the potium. "So you made it." He looked over at Leo.

"I made it. I had to make a stop in New York first."

"What do you think?"

"I think he's the real deal." Josh whispered and shook his head because he knew he'd tell Sam the same thing and that Sam wouldn't like that answer.

"So you're going to come work for us."

"I have to talk to someone first."

"Someone in New York?"

"Yeah someone in New York."

Leo watched the younger man he knew the secrets of this man, but not all of them. No not all of them by far and he wondered who was in New York and why they were so important to this decision but he knew when to question and when not and this was a not to time.

Jed Bartlet watched his best friend talking to a younger man. A younger man he felt he should know the name of but that was evading him. He watched the man turn and leave as he made his way to Leo's side.

"Who was that?"

"Josh Lyman his father is an old friend. I want him as your DCOS."

"He seems familiar like I've seen him somewhere I just can't place it. Where is he going?"

"He said he had to go to New York to talk to someone."

"New York." Jed mumbled thinking of his son.

"Sam?" Leo questioned seeing the look on Jed's face.

Sam." Jed sighed "I know he doesn't want this. "I asked him to come on as the DCD but he doesn't want this, he doesn't want the pressure. I know he stops himself from fully being him for my sake the sake of the campaign and it kills me. If I didn't actually think I could do this job I would but I do." He shook his head.

"Did Sam ask you to stop?"

"No but I know he wanted too. He is scared of what will happen if he gets secret service. He is scared of the reporters and what that would mean for me. I know it." Jed shook his head.

'He's a good boy." Leo said.

"He really is. Abby and I are very proud of him." He just wished he could make it all easier on his son and still change the world the way he knew he could.

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Sam had seen the look on Josh's face when he'd came into Gage Whitney soaking wet. Josh had never had a good poker face so he knew what Josh thought. Of course he always knew what Josh's answer would be.

"So I guess we're gong to New Hampshire." Sam sighed and shook his. "I'm trusting you. He wanted me there and I said no but you, you I'm trusting."

Josh gave him a wane smile as they got onto the train Josh was still wet when the got to the Bartlet headquarters. Sam took a deep breath and followed Josh inside.

"Josh you're back I guess you talked to the person in New York."

"I did and I come with a new Deputy communications director."

"Well where is this person?" Leo asked looking towards the door that no one had stepped through.

"Um….." Josh looked behind him.

"Sam, he mumbled. Going towards the door. "Sam you can't just stand outside seriously you're not going to have a panic attack I promise. You said you trusted me."

They heard the other many say something but didn't hear what. "Did he say Sam?" Jed asked his best friend standing beside him.

"I think so." Leo muttered. "one moment." Leo walked out the door and Jed followed him.

"Seriously Josh I am just going to turn back around and go to New York." Sam went to turn and Josh stopped him.

"Oh no you're not." Josh stopped him and turned him towards the door. He stopped when he saw Leo and Governor Bartlet standing there.

"Oh hi." He said brightly "So this is your new DCD Sam say hi to the nice people."

Sam rolled his eyes and mumbled. "I Hate you so much right now Josh."

"Na you love me." He teased.

"Which is how I ended up here." He whispered. So low only Jed heard him. "Dad, Leo." He said looking up at the two older man. I guess I am joining your campaign hope you have room because I don't think he'll take no for an answer and I kind of quit my job for this."

"Always." Jed said taking in his son's face. "Come in and meet the rest of the team." Father and son locked eyes and they both knew this was only the beginning of a very long and bumpy road.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own The West wing

"We have to leave New Hampshire, we can't win New Hampshire." Josh ran his hands through his hair.

"The New Hampshire primary isn't in New Hampshire anymore did you hear that Sam. The New Hampshire primary is no longer in New Hampshire."

"Dad stop being a smart ass you know what he was saying."

Everyone froze at Sam's words wide eyed that Sam talked to the governer that way. Sam just shrugged.

"And you are?" Jed pointed to the other man

"Josh sir."

"Right and he is?" he pointed to Toby

"That's Toby."

"Stop messing with them you know their names." Sam snapped. "We are going to North Carolina and that's final."

"So I can win North Carolina?"

"No but you can come into second and then Wildy will drop out."

"So I just have to beat Wildy."

"Yes." They all shouted.

"Well lets get there. I better talk to Abbey."

"Right well we're all going to head to the hotel and get things settled to moved.

Jed nodded and walked out and everyone turned to Sam. "What," He threw a wadded up piece of paper.

"You just…." C.J. stuttered out.

"use your words Ceej."

"You just called the Governor an smart ass."

"Well he was being one." Sam shrugged okay lets get going."

Josh shook his head and smirked. This campaign would be fun to work for. C.J. just knew the possibility of Sam Seaborn Bartlet as first son would give her a giant head ache of course she would not know how big of one until later.

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"So Sam says we have to move to North Carolina, I guess I'm too much of a lock in this state so we're moving on. He told me to stop being a smart ass can you believe that."

"This is our son so yes I can believe that. So if the campaign is moving on I'll start packing and bring Zoey with me to the next stop."

Jed nodded. "Do you think there is something going on between Sam and that Josh Lyman character?"

"You mean that young man that Leo brought in as the DCOS?"

"Yes."

"I believe so yes. I remember seeing a picture of them when Sam was in College."

"That's where I've seen him." Jed snapped his fingers "I knew I"d seen the man before."

"If you're worried if they're still together I don't believe so."

"I think Sam still cares for him though."

"I'm sure he probably does but Josh is in politics he was with Hoynes before right?"

"Yes."

"And you have your political career that Sam would not want to ruin so I'm sure that is the reason they are no longer together."

"I hate this." Jed ran his hands over his face. I hate that my choices are impacting Sam's life so but I do believe I can do good for this country."

"I know you do." Abbey rubbed his arm. "Sam does too, he understands or at least he tries too. If he didn't believe that he wouldn't be helping with your campaign."

"I think that had more to do with Josh then anything else." Jed said remembering the words he'd heard his son utter.

"Even so if he didn't believe in you he'd be fading more into the background not putting himself front and center, and if he does want to be with Josh well we have to accept that and help them the best we can.

"I know…" Jed whispered. "I know."

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Sam heard a knock on his hotel room door. He opened it to see Josh on the other side.

"Why do you even have a hotel room? Your family has a giant house not far from here."

"Well I'm trying to just be a part of the staff."

"Yeah you might want to remember that next time you decide to call your dad a smart ass in front of the staff."

"Yeah maybe." Sam snorted.

"You also might want to not call him dad."

Sam's face shuttered. "No I gave up enough for my father's political career I won't give up calling him dad that won't happen."

"Whoa okay." Josh held up his hands. "Sorry I brought it up."

Sam shook hi head. "No I'm sorry I shouldn't have snapped at you. Are you packed?"

"Yeah all ready to go. Your dad just showed up at the hotel and C.J. says we leave in half an hour. I guess your mom and Zoey will follow us in a few days." Sam just nodded.

"Okay well I just have a few more things to pack."

"Okay see you in a bit." Sam just nodded and watched as Josh walked out. When the door was closed behind him Sam leaned his head against the door and stood there. "I'm so screwed it's not even funny." He muttered to himself.

Half an hour later the staff was on their way to the airport. Onto the next leg of the campaign trail. No one knew where it would take them. No one knew where it would lead but they were all willing to take the chance. Even if some of them were a little less willing.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own the West wing.

Sam yawned and looked around as the car came to a stop "Where are we?"

"South Carolina." Josh said stifling his own yawn.

"Wait I thought we were going to North Carolina?"

"Yeah we let you think that because it was funny."

"Sorry that I'm not completely up on the primary sceduel." Sam grumbled. "You know I was just a lawyer a few weeks ago and one that stayed from politics unless I couldn't help it."

"I know." Josh soothed and the hint of laughter and the tone of voice got a look from C.J. and Toby."

"I knew I should have ridden with my dad and Leo." Sam grumbled crossing his arms.

"Then you wouldn't be just like the rest of us." Josh teased."

"Why am I friends with you again." Sam shook his head and got out of the car.

"okay boys, now we need to get settled into the hotel and then we have a town hall meeting at 7:30." C.J said looking at them. "I mean it you three."

"C.J. you act like we've never done this before." Toby stated.

"Well he hasn't." she pointed to Sam.

"He is a very sought after Lawyer and speech writer." Josh narrowed his eyes.

"He is the son of the nominee that's why he's here." C.J. stalked away.

"I don't like her." Josh mumbled. He turned on Toby. "You brought her she better be worth it."

"Josh." Sam warned. "You be nice."

"Is anything wrong here?" Jed asked

"No, it's just a bit of a pecking order going on here." Toby sighed.

"What did you do?" Leo asked looking at Josh.

"Why do you assume it's me."

"It usually is."

"You really should apologize to C.J. you know." Sam pointed out.

"What did you do to C.J?" Leo asked.

"Nothing." Josh grumbled. "She went after Sam. So I got mad."

"Josh." Sam snapped.

"She's the tall woman, right?" Jed said

"Dad." Sam was just exasperated now.

"Yes Leo sighed. Now I'm losing patience so would someone like to explain to me what happened.

"we were teasing Sam because he thought we were going to North Carolina. Come to think of it you two were also in on this." Toby pointed out. "Anyway when we got here C.J. told us when the town hall was and not to be late. We pointed out that we've done this before and C.J. had to point out that Sam didn't do this and he was only here because he was the Governor's son."

Jed saw red. "She said what?"

"Dad don't and Josh go and apologize to C.J. I'm sure she's good at her job."

"She should apologize not me."

"both of you play nice." Sam sighed I'm going to my room I'll see you all at the town hall." With that he shook his head and walked off.

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Josh knocked on C.J."s door.

C.J. opened the door "Oh it's you."

"Sam said I Had to apologize."

"Do you always do what Sam says."

"Listen C.J." am here because It's the right thing to do and I don't want any issues for the campaign but you can't go after Sam he is a good guy. He doesn't even want to be here but he's doing it for his father. You may not respect how he got here. But he is there for his friends and his family you'll learn that I think you two can be really good friends."

C.J. sighed and shook her head. She collapsed on the bed in her room and looked at Josh. "I'm sorry too and I'll apologize to Sam. I'm just used to no one listening to me I lost my last job because some high up producer didn't like that he'd dropped a few points on a list. I was good at my job but I was still fired.

"I think you'll fit in well with the group." Josh assured her. "Well I better get to my room and unpack everything.

"See you later Josh." She watched him walk away. She hadn't meant to be so harsh it had all happened and then she'd felt bad about it. She knew she had been wrong and like she promised josh she would apologize to Sam just not right now.

The Bartlet campaign was on the next leg of their journey and they'd already seen their first fracture. Hopefully it would heal soon.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own the west wing

Josh felt his head spinning. His ears buzzing, Donna's words drowned out by the thumping of his heart.

"I…. I have….to… get…to the….airport." He gasped. He felt his knees start to buckle.

"Whoa." He heard Sam's voice felt his hand steading him. "Josh what's wrong." Sam's voice sounded frantic Josh was sure.

"it's his dad." He heard Donna's whispered words. "He passed away." Josh felt bile raise as the words were repeated. His father was dead. He felt his body shutting down. He felt Sam's hand on his arm.

"Okay we're going to get you to Connecticut." He turned and waved down Leo and his dad.

"What's wrong with Josh." Jed asked noticing the weak pallor of the younger man.

"His father died we need to get to the airport I'm going home with him." The way Sam said it Jed knew not to argue. Sam was at a be damn about the media at that point he didn't care what stories they may make up. Josh needed him at that was that.

"Okay I'll call a car."

"I'll set up tickets for the two of you." Donna said

"Thank you." Sam nodded. "Josh come on sit down." Sam urged the love of his life onto a couch. "Leo are you okay?" he asked turning to the older man knowing he was also close to Noah Lyman.

"I'm fine Sam get him home."

"I will, Josh stay here well I go and gather our luggage. We'll meet back up with the campaign when we can. "

Josh just nodded numbly. Sam stood and headed towards the rooms. He felt a hand on his shoulder. "Let me do that." He turned to see his mother standing there a look of sadness in her eyes.

"Okay you can get my things I'll get Josh's." he handed her his key card and grabbed Josh's out of his coat. Abbey watched her son go. She saw the soul crushing hurt in his eyes and she just wanted to hold him close.

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Sam and Josh found themselves on a plane to Connecticut as they took off Josh turned to Sam. "You didn't have to come."

"Yes I did." Same squeezed his hand. "I'm not letting you live this alone.

"Thank you." Josh whispered.

"Always." Was the only thing Sam said as the rest of the plane ride went by silently.

The deplaned and Sam was sure to shuffle Josh into the rented car. "I never thought I'd be back here for this." Josh's whispered words tore a hole in Sam's heart. He didn't say anything just reached over and squeezed Josh's shoulder. Giving the only thing he could silent strength.

They pulled in front of Josh's childhood home and sat there. "We go in when you're ready." Sam whispered. He wasn't sure how long they sat there before Josh opened the passenger side door and got out of the car. Sam shut the car off and got out.

"Lets go." Josh said letting a long breath out. They made it to the door and it was opened before they even made it all the way up the stairs.

"Oh you're here." Sam could only assume this woman was Josh's mother. "Oh Josh." She wailed as Sam watched Josh looking lost as he tried to sooth the woman in his arms.

"Mom lets get inside." He gently led her in and Sam shut the door behind them.

"Josh I don't know what to do." She sobbed.

"We'll figure it out." Josh assured her. "Mom this is my friend Sam."

"Sam oh it's good to meet you. You're the governor's son right?"

"Yes Ma 'me"

"Thank you for making sure that josh got here."

Sam just gave a tight smile. I'm going to make some phone calls. He held up his phone and got a nod from Josh.

He let his mom know they had landed and were at Josh's and he'd call when he knew more.

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Sam heard a knock on the guest room door. He slid his glasses off and made his way to the door he opened it to see Josh on the other side. Not that he was really expecting anyone else.

He stepped aside and when Josh was inside he shut the door. He didn't even think he just led Josh to the bed and gathered him in his arms. He held him tight in a way he hadn't allowed himself to hold him in years.

He let him cry for what he lost he let him cry for what he'd never have and for a moment he felt his own tears on his cheeks. In the dark of that room they could hold each other and not worry about the past or the future. Not worry about presidential campaigns or disappointing the family or public. For that moment frozen in time they were just Josh and Sam two men in love who desperately wanted to cling to each other and believe in healing powers of love.


End file.
